Motherhood was not meant to be a solo gig
Whether it consists of a hearty group of 12 or a solid gold one, every mom needs to find her tribe. I’m talking about the other moms who will cheer when your son hits a home run and know just what to say when your daughter refuses to tell you why she is not talking to you. The mom with children older than yours who gives you the most brilliant advice. The mom in your life who offers to have your children over, because she knows you are behind on work deadlines. These women are your mom friends and you need them like martinis need olives. Still not convinced why mom needs friends? Here are three important arguments which will win you over.
1) THEY KNOW HOW YOU’RE FEELING
Mom friends remind you that you are not going crazy, losing your mind or totally failing at raising children. All moms feel this way at one point or another and it’s good to know you’re not the only one who has questioned every parenting decision one hundred times over. Even if they don’t have the perfect words of advice, your mom friends get it. They understand what you are feeling in a way that other people cannot. Mothers need other mothers to sit across the table from them, grab their hand and say “I know how you feel.” It’s the only way we can make it through parenthood without being swallowed whole.
2) THEY KNOW HOW TO SUPPORT YOU
When life gets hectic or heavy or overwhelming, mom friends know how to help you best. They know if it is better to drop off dinner, take your kids for a night or swoop you off to an evening of margaritas. This type of understanding can only come from someone who is walking the same road in life as you. Mom friends know what you need, because they know what they would need in that same situation. It’s a special kind of knowing shared between mothers; a sense of understanding that can only be gained from having been in those same situations.
When my children were two and three-years-old, I took them to the local wholesale club to buy groceries. After only 10 minutes of shopping, they both launched into meltdowns so colossal, that I had to leave the store. On my way out, I was met with dirty looks, nasty comments about loud crying children and heads shaking with disapproval. As the tears began to brim in my eyes, I saw a mom friend I knew from the preschool. She grabbed my arm, looked compassionately into my eyes and simply said, “I know.” It was exactly what I needed to hear. That same sentiment from another person would have been a kind gesture, but coming from a mom friend, I felt instantly validated.
3) THEY NEED YOU TOO
Your mom friends are going to be your sounding board, comic relief and rock solid foundation as you navigate through a lifetime of motherhood. But friendship is a two way street, and these friends are going to need you too. They need you to be the same to them on those days when they are hanging their head in defeat. The beautiful thing is, you can give back to them in the same way they have given to you. Just think you possess the same insider knowledge to get them back on track.
If motherhood is a sea of ever changing currents, than mom friends are a live preserver. They are the ones who will pull you to the surface when you feel like you are drowning and hold your head above water until your feet are standing firmly on the shore.